Hi, I’m Lisa a Feminine Mindset and Empowerment coach at lisakercek.com. I am a deep feeler and believer who supports women tuning back into themselves and shining their light as bright as they can.
I’ve been unconsciously having coaching conversations in different areas of my life for the last 20 years. And now in my current coaching business, my clients mainly range from early 30s upwards.
Recently, I’ve been working with a few ladies in their late 40s – 50s and there has been some strong similarities in these women’s experiences. When we’ve delved deeper into the issues they have been facing it’s all been linked to perimenopausal symptoms- some being further along their menopausal path and some just finding out that they are at the start of their journey.
So me being me, I wanted to know the ins and outs of everything and be equipped to help the best way I can. That’s when I reached out to my good friend Suzanne from Mother Flushing Midlife to give me some more information to help my lovely ladies navigate through this period of their lives and their individual perimenopausal experiences.
I want to point out that I’m a 35 (soon to be 36) mother of two toddlers who hasn’t yet crossed that bridge over to the menopausal years.
BUT what I have recently been through is birth and the ‘4th trimester’ that follows pregnancy. And in my opinion menopause and the 4th trimester are pretty similar.
What is the 4th Trimester?
Let me explain a little here.
For those who don’t know the 4th trimester period; it’s when you have just given birth to a baby, who you have been nurturing for all those months inside your belly.. and your life is flipped upside down within a split second.. in my case it was anyway.
Your body is different
Your bits hurt
Sleep is a thing of the past
Your hormones are off and away on their own rollercoaster
You cry randomly, and at anything
You feel like absolute sh*te but you have no idea why
Even though you have everything that you want in life you have no idea why you feel so crappy..
Its a bit intense.
And then the following months are the same, but we kind of adjust to our new roles and just get on with things..
Why? ‘Cos thats what society has made us believe is necessary…that we just have to get on with things because God forbid a woman asks for help – as then she will be perceived as WEAK and not managing it all.
We get LABELLED.
Back in the Victorian times, women were locked up and labelled with INSANITY for mental health struggles after childbirth or what we now know as menopause…
We are not insane!! We have hormones that are out on a bloody field day and we have no idea how to control them!
I’m calling bullsh*t on this!
When giving birth to my first born I had no idea about this 4th trimester. Nada.
No one spoke about it with me. And it wasn’t until I was right in the thick of it that someone said to me ‘ahh the joys of the 4th trimester!’
Anyone else relate to this?
Why isn’t it spoken about??
Same with menopause. People don’t want to, or feel they can’t, talk about it. Even though it’s going to happen to every woman at some point.
Then we do what? Poke around in the dark and hope to God our GP has some sort of training on the subject and can point us in the right direction? Unfortunately, as it stands that’s not always the case, but let’s pray this is changing..
Also, our partners (bless them) are looking at us as if to say ‘what the hell is going on with you’ ‘why are you so crazy?’ And how are we supposed to know how to answer them if we don’t have a clue what’s going on ‘cos no one bloody talks about it!
Rant over 😉
Preparing for Menopause
I feel strongly that we need to talk about menopause to prepare us for what is to come. Often by midlife we are in a good position in our lives. We’ve got most things figured out and know where we are going. Then, when this hormone roller coaster hits we can be thrown completely off and sent into a spiral of trying to ‘’find ourselves’’.
And that’s the thing.. May be we never ‘’lost’’ ourselves.
Whether you’re in the 4th trimester or menopause, or even coming out the other side just know that this is the new evolution of yourself.
You need the upheaval to upgrade to a shiner new version of you.
That fiery 20 something is still underneath there. There’s just some layers to peel back to reveal them.
May be life throws us these curve balls for a reason….We get to shed the old to be able to create space for the new.
Just like the cliche goes – there are always brighter days after the storm.
So coming from an empowerment and mindset perspective ladies. You are not alone and you don’t have to go through this alone either. SELF CARE and SELF LOVE should be your top priority. Reach out. To read more head to Suzanne’s earlier blogs self love and self care.
Do your research if you are reaching the age of menopause – which some of you may be surprised to hear can start well before 40. Know what’s coming so you can be prepared – knowledge is power. Talk to your girlfriends – they may be going through it too…..and read. Find out more about what you might not know in Suzanne’s blog ‘Menopause: What You Need to Know’.
Get resourceful. Don’t stop if one person / professional doesn’t understand what you are going through, move on to the next. And finally, have compassion for yourself (BIGGY).
The key to moving through this smoothly is good support and awareness. When we have awareness, that’s when the MAGIC happens. We get to take back control and make the choices that feel right for us at that moment.
I wish you luck, magic and love on this journey to the new you.
If you want support with your mindset, empowerment and some guidance along this journey then feel free to reach out to me.
Lisa Kercek is a Feminine Empowerment and Mindset Mentor. She is a feeler, a believer and a women’s advocate. It’s her soul’s mission to help women who are witnessing their life but aren’t emotionally engaged in it. She goes deep with them and her clients leave their time together feeling connected to their authenticity, immersed in life and living fully – being creators of their own reality.